I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
