does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
