dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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