Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
