Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
