I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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