i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
