If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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