it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
