You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
