my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I look better un-naked...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
then he tried to convert me to islam
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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