We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
