You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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