I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
