I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
