arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
