no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
