I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize