Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
