I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
