so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
