Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
