Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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