this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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