Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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