Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
