she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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