he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we're making bets on your personal life
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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