So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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