it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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