Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
