Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
