If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
