If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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