I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
