I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
jump out the window naked night went bad
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
