I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
