so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
