Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize