I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
