Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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