dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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