My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
