The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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