My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
