just tell him i said nine months
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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