she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
