remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
