Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My penis needs a shock collar
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Panties = found
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