loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
