i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
