My room smells like vodka and shame
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
